I haven’t let anyone read it in its entirety yet. I’m scared. It’s not even finished and I’m scared to keep on writing it. Not because I’m afraid of what people will think of me, or what will happen if they don’t like my style of writing, or the story itself. I’m scared to see how the rumor mill churns out my words. I’m scared to discover how my words will be dissected and surely “read into”. I’m scared of the inevitable; someone’s feelings will be hurt.
My novel, Rose Clover, is based on a true story. Even though I shouldn’t, I feel bad about some of the truth that will be told about the characters in my life. Names have been changed, but the story remains mostly whole. Writing Rose Clover has and will take me a long time to write. I’ve found it therapeutic, and mostly an uplifting journey to create. While publishing it won’t ruin any lives or anything remotely close, I do realize it will hurt some people, or rip open old wounds. Peace treaties that have been semi- put into place will inevitably burn to ash.
I’m writing it for me. I’m writing it because it’s what I love to do. I’m writing it because I was never able to talk about it, or even find the words to express what happened. I’m writing because it has helped me move on. I’m writing it because I finally can.
Yet, I’m two million percent sure I am not the first person to face this dilemma, and I certainly won’t be the last. Has anyone out there in the blogosphere published anything controversial? Frowned on by your family and friends? What did you do?